Michael Jackson Spotted in Hokkaido?
Michael Jackson, the dead King of Pop, was allegedly photographed yesterday sitting on a bench in Hokkaido freezing his sesame buns off.
The dead King of Pop was apparently dressed as McDonald's Japan Gaijin Stereotype Mr. James dressed as Ronald McDonald dressed as a convicted child molester.
Japanese entertainment weekly Uso Bakkari claimed the dead King of Pop is filming a new video, "This is Shit Too," which features MJ rave-dancing with Noriko Sakai and "cuddling" the Balloon Boy.
Asked for comment, the dead King of Pop replied in Japanese, "Haaa? Maikeru? Chigau yo!" (translation: "It's a new dance move, the Bench Walk!").
FOX News reported that Bubbles the Chimpanzee is "overjoyed," "looking forward to a reunion," and, like the dead King of Pop, "opposed to healthcare reform."
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In other news, Toyota denied rumors of signing Tiger Woods to endorse a new line of sudden-acceleration Lexus SUVs.
